My place in this world..

Finally I got to Bali again last week, and it was so hard to leave. 

I have come to love the people there so very much. 

I always loved riding past the rice fields, probably my favourite view in the whole world. They only just planted them in for a new cycle when I was last there..and now they're all almost ready for harvest. It seems so silly, but it felt like I was saying hello again to the rice fields..and that they recognised me, and they were welcoming me back there again.

Why?

Sometimes you can't help but wonder - why do such people exist in our world?

How can there be so much hatred and evil in their hearts and minds?

I cannot understand this..

Just 5 more days and I'll be going to see my lovely children in Bali again! I really really can't wait to see them.
I went shopping for dresses and clothes for the little ones and it was so exciting to choose the prettiest dresses and guess how much they're grown in the past 6 months since I last saw them!

But before then, its back to work tomorrow! And it has been crazy hot the past week here in Malaysia.

All I Want..

This song, says what I've wanted to say better than I could have said it.

The Devil at Four O'Clock

Last night, I stayed up to watch a movie called The Devil at Four O'Clock from 1961. It was a really good movie, and I've always loved classic movies. It was the first time in my life that I stayed up late watching a movie with my daddy and I just felt really happy...

The movie was about a priest on an island near Hawaii. He took care of children with leprosy in a hospital which he built for them with his own hands because the villagers wouldn't accept them in society. When a volcano near the hospital erupted and he was in town, he insisted on going up to the hospital to save them, eventhough everyone said that the whole island would be covered in lava if he didn't escape immediately. It really touched me and made me miss the children in Bali so much, because I know that if I were in that situation, I really couldn't just leave the children behind either..

Today, I was told my work is appreciated. That's all I asked for..thank you for telling me.

Success to me is..

Everyone has their own definition of what the word 'successful' means. To me, right now, being successful is about being able to balance both my emotions and physical energy between serving God, my family, my 2nd family in Bali, and work.

Work is increasingly challenging, but I want to try to leave all the stress behind once I step out of the office and be able to not talk about work with friends and family. I want to be able to laugh at jokes without having worries at the back of my mind. I love it when I can sit with my little brother and play computer games without being distracted. I want to be able to decide the days I can leave work early and go for a jog in the park next to my house. I am proud of the fact that I can earn my own money to pay for my own car loan, my rent, my food, give money to my grandma, and save up for visits to Bali. I love how I can be independant enough to drive down to Seremban alone to spend weekends with grandma.

I want to be able to show my boss this - that I might not have finished the work you asked me to do this morning, I might not know what you're talking about at the moment, but I want you to know that I'm trying. I'm trying my very best to catch up with you, so please bear with me.  I want to be able to give my all to work when I'm at work; and give my all to the more important things in life when I'm out of the office.

This is the point of discovery in my life. I am discovering who I am, but at the same time I am in full control of the wheel to decide who I want to be. I want to be good at work. But I work to live, and not the other way around.

This is who I am and these are what I want in my life at the moment. What about you?

Online in Old Town White Coffee update

I got some very good news yesterday..but I know I'm still not ready.
I love how time is such a relative thing. It can seem like it flies by when you're happy, and how it drags on and on when you aren't. And I love how everything sometimes flows so perfectly according to time if we remain patient.

On another note, I've been learning so much at work! I remember how at cell group on Friday night last week, we were asked to describe our past week in ONE word. My word was "responsibilities", because I was really getting more work and had to bear the responsibilities of solving some problems that the contractors were facing at the construction site. Then we were asked to describe the kind of week we would want to have the following week in one word, and my word was "control" because I had loads of work in the office and still had to go to the site to supervise our pre-fire inspection testing. I really hoped that I would be able to have control over the situation, and though I had to tell off one of the contractors for not completing their job, it turned out very well and work at the office was under control too.

So it has been a really exhausting week but I'm happy :)

I logged onto AirAsia to check ticket prices! Hope they don't go up too much when I get my pay next week. I really can't wait to see my babies in Bali again :)

Amelie

have you watched Amelie? if you haven't, I really recommend you do. the perfect love story to me..
I wonder, who's my Nino Quincampoix?

Stronger

Oftentimes we are so so much stronger than we thought we are.

Mom left on Sunday night. I prayed so hard that I wouldn't cry, and I didn't! At the airport, Mom was telling us all about her hilarious experiences during her holidays around the ASEAN countries and we were all laughing till our stomachs ached! It took our minds off her leaving, and it made things so much less painful saying goodbye.

My new room is nice and cosy, though I haven't finished unpacking. Still no internet, so this post is coming from my office! Haha! I've been trying to keep myself busy to take my mind off the silence of being alone, but last night my mom and brother rang, and hearing their voices made me so sad!


But I know I'll be ok.. :) And I look forward to saving up and travelling somewhere soon..I haven't decided where yet.