Monday, 22 August 2011

This is my God...

This is my God, the Servant, the King, who gave His life to rescue me..

My faith in You..

There were many times in life when my faith in God wavered.
Each time, I never dared to take a step away from Him because of what others would think of me. Which made me question whether I had the 'right' type of faith to begin with. But more on that later.
Finally, there was once when I decided. I was tired. I was without hope. I just wanted out.
So I ran away. To the furthest possible place. Physically and spiritually.
After making that step, I wished I had taken that step way earlier.
Because I have never experience God's love in such a clear and personal way than I did on that journey running away from Him.
I ran from Him, only to find out that I ended up at an orphanage/children's home which was run by a pastor.
The irony - I couldn't believe it! I could not comprehend it at all.
And after that trip, each and every single time I feel that I am unconsciously slipping further from Him again, I know - I can never ever run away from Him.

Back to the question of how strong my faith was when I was a young child. I remember very clearly, writing in a little book that was very precious to me, about how much I love God. I must have been only about 4 years old. And growing up, I have never ever questioned God's existence. No matter how much my faith wavered, I have never questioned His existence. And it might be mind-boggling to some people, how I can believe in the existence of a God who you cannot see or touch. But He was the only one I had when I was growing up. There was no one else to turn to. When I had arguments with my mother, when I had difficulties in school, when I could not understand why my childhood was so different/difficult compared to my friends, who else did I have to turn to but God? He was there through it all. He saw my tears, He knew the deep deep pain I felt, the anger at the unfairness of it all, the hope that was crushed time and time again - He saw it all, and He gave me comfort which I could not ask or expect from anyone else. He brought me up, and He guided me and formed me into the person that I am today. I am not perfect, but I am His child. I am a happy person, and I still think the world is a beautiful place with wonderful people, because it was all created by Him.

My faith might seem simple to some people. So naive. But He is my best friend..and I will always love Him for being there with me through thick and thin. He is my God, my Saviour, my Friend.

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Sunday, 7 August 2011

I'm not asking for too much. Please don't tell me that I need to reduce my requirements to dirt before I can find someone who is willing/able to meet them. I think I deserve at least that.