Friday, 30 January 2015
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Tuesday, 27 January 2015
On the second night there, as I went out in the dark to throw out the rubbish, I looked up at the sky and saw stars - more than I have ever seen before. It was so, so beautiful. I couldn't stop looking! I really love looking at the stars, and I really love laying down next to someone I love and admiring the beauty of His works.
I went back inside and got a few of the others(Sarah, Rachel, Jason, DanFan) to join me star-gazing, and Sarah pointed out some star groups so we knew a bit more of what we were looking at. The sweetest part of the whole night for me was when we started story-telling, each of us adding a few words to the story, which ended up being about a pig with wings, who couldn't fly because he was overweight. SHO CUTE. And we also played the laughing game, which was so funny!
Back to work today, but I haven't done very much today because there isn't much to do.
Friday, 23 January 2015
The Magnify group (our group of youth and young adults) will be heading down to Tootgarook, which is between Rosebud and Rye, after work today. It's going to be my second retreat with the Bread of Life group, and I'm really looking forward to it.
I still remember the last retreat at Phillip Island, where I kept feeling like I couldn't focus, and the more frustrated I got, the less I focused. It turned out that months later when I looked back, that time I spent with God at the retreat was where everything else started. I remember having quiet periods of time when we were meant to just sit and listen, but I was actually having conversations with Him; not just pouring out my frustrations anymore, but really asking Him to show me His will for my life, and honestly telling Him that I might not hear very well, so please speak to me clearly. And that whatever it is He has in plan for me, I will try my very very best to honor His will. I told Him that there will be times when I would be afraid, but I asked Him for courage. I told Him that sometimes I would be weak and tempted to give up, but I asked Him for strength and abundance of faith.
That retreat was where I decided to do my TESOL course, and I had no idea what the next step would be after that. It was also where I learned to speak to Him and to really really seek His heart. And that was the most precious lesson of all. I might not have learned very much in terms of biblical history during the retreat, but I learned how to look for His promises found in His word and to trust them.
How much has changed since then. Only about 7 months ago. My life has changed, my approach to Him has changed, I see things more clearly, I learned to be wiser based on His holiness, and I learned that some situations just require complete surrender.
I'm really looking forward to what He has in store for me this long weekend.
Saturday, 17 January 2015
The connection between a mother and child is such a beautiful thing.
My little niece is back from Japan, and oh how she has grown! She's such a bundle of joy. She has always, understandably, been close to her mother. And even now, she would only allow anyone else to hold her if her mother was within her sight.
Just last night, we were all sitting around her on the floor chatting, and she was so happy to play and giggle because she knew her mother was just behind her. The moment Sayo stood up quietly to go to her room to get something, Mia immediately sensed it, and turned around. Seeing her mother had left, you could just read her sadness on her face; before she started sobbing.
I'm sure she will allow her mother to leave her side for some time as she grows up, but the bond between a mother and a child is so strong, and so natural.
It is terribly sad when children lose their mothers at a young age. It is even worse when they are rejected by their mothers, or abandoned, when the only people they trust at that age are their mothers.
That is why I love being with children who have had to go through such situations. When they hug me, I can sense how much they need someone to love them, to protect them. And just for a moment, I am able to be that person for them.
Friday, 16 January 2015
I love people who are kind. Those who do stuff for others without hesitating. Who go out of their way to help others. Who sacrifice their time for some who might not even realise just how much they are sacrificing, or even show any appreciation. Those who love deeply, to the point where they could get hurt easily.
Whenever I find someone like that, I just love them. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but I just love them and hope that they meet people in their lives who would appreciate them for the wonderful people whom they are. I would want to protect them from those who would hurt them, because I know people can be mean. Mostly I don't want them to get hurt because I know that they would put up their fences to protect their hearts once they have been hurt. But the most beautiful part of them is their soft, gentle and kind hearts - loving others without withholding anything.
Monday, 12 January 2015
|Baking with music to sing along to - the best!|
|Does anyone else feel really happy looking at butter and eggs?|
|My favourite Babushka apron|
Friday, 9 January 2015
By the way, I adore my new seating in the office, where I have my own tiny corner, to focus and do my stuff. Or some other things at times, haha.
Only 5 hours to the weekend, and tonight I can relax, before a whole day of baking and icing tomorrow, for Rachel & Jason's wedding!! I'm so excited, and I know it's going to be beautiful, especially because it'll be outdoors. Pictures to come!
For more pictures from my favourite scenes in the movie: here.
Get it, and watch it. I hope you'll love it as much as I do :)
Thursday, 8 January 2015
I want to be myself, speak out and voice my opinions. Without being afraid of people labeling me as 'different'. Just as I was struggling last night, I prayed and started reading my Bible plan before going to bed. The verses I read were just simply as if God was in the room sitting next to me and talking to me, comforting me. Which He probably was. :)
Then this morning, I saw this article.
"Self-approval comes out of self-acceptance, which rises out of the recognition that we are, in fact, enough, just as we are. With that recognition, we can free ourselves from fear; we no longer need to look outside for a validation that, on the inside is self-evident."
I want to stop looking outside for validation. Because I accept myself.
Wednesday, 7 January 2015
Tuesday, 6 January 2015
After writing the last blog post 2 days ago, I prayed about something, asking God to please take away the feeling of hopelessness that I was feeling in regards to a certain situation. It was about something that He recently showed me will happen, but the circumstances now seem bleak and I was losing hope quickly. I said to Him, "I know You promised me it would happen, but I don't know if I want it anymore..it's too painful to hope and wait. Please take it away if it isn't meant to be!" I then went to sleep, still crying. When I woke up the next morning, I checked my phone, and there it was. The answer to my prayer. Which I had waited for months for. He answered my prayer 12 minutes after I prayed it, in the middle of the night. No words are enough to describe how powerful and kind He is...to speak to me so clearly.
About today, it started with a colleague walking past my desk at lunch time while I was reading. He asked me what book was I reading, and I was a little uncertain whether to show him, because it was about a missionary in China. He quickly went to his desk and came back to show me the book he was reading, which was about Israel. He told me some very interesting things about Israel(I must go one day!) and I then showed him my book.
I also told him about my hopes to go to Nepal in August, which I wasn't sure whether it was right to share about. Surprisingly, he was so interested and asked me many questions which I know I will be answering many times over once I announce my plans to more people. What started off with me being so afraid of someone else's view of me, turned out to be a truly encouraging discussion about God's work in the world.
After work, I then went looking for something which I knew was going to be a bit difficult to find. I found one, which was reduced from $60 to $35. It was still more than I was willing to pay,considering the fact that I found one online for less than $10. After looking almost everywhere and almost caving in to get the $35 one, I suddenly thought of going to a certain shop which has bits and bobs of everything. After searching high and low and almost walking out, out of the corner of my eye, on the lowest shelf, I found what I wanted. For $2.95! I very nearly did a happy dance right there!
Then, I walked past a shop and saw a lip scrub that I needed, which comes in 3 flavors. I decided on the one I liked most, but there wasn't any left. Normally I would've just walked off, but I somehow decided to open my 'golden mouth' and ask the sales assistant, who seemed to be very busy, whether they had anymore stock at the back. She said "Oh there are some right at the front of the shop" and I was so glad that I asked. Then she said "By the way, they're 50% off". Which was why they were put separately from the other 2 flavors which were full price! Again, WIN!
I then came home, and after dinner I decided I'll try making salted caramel icing again. I've tried twice in the past and both times it turned out way too sweet and too runny. And guess what, it turned out PERFECT! I am always very critical of whatever I cook or bake, but this time I liked it so much, and it was a huge relief because I am making 48 salted caramel cupcakes for my friends' wedding this weekend and I really wanted them to taste good for the guests who will be there!
Then, because I had extra cream, I decided to make creme brulee. I found an egg which looked much longer than the usual shape of eggs, and took a picture. When I cracked it open, there were 2 egg yolks in it, one at each end of the shell, because the egg was so long!
Some of these were just small surprises, but I love surprises, big or small..and I appreciate every little good thing that happens. It reminds me that I am loved.
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Some nights it's hard to fall asleep.
The quiet questions ring too loudly in the still night.
I thought I left them at Your feet, but it seems I pick them right back up when I awake.
And the only way to silent them
Is by crying out to You again,
The only way is to let the tears fall,
And You the only one who sees them.
Thursday, 1 January 2015
1) To see myself the way He sees me. This year He revealed to me that I had deep scars within me which caused me to feel unworthy of love - sometimes even unworthy of my own love. And this in effect caused me and is still causing me to always be afraid of being judged by others. I don't always speak or act the way I really am.