Sunday, 19 December 2010

2 more sleeps!

2 more sleeps till my mommy gets home...
I miss her so much even now when she is only gone for a week for holiday...What am I gonna do when she moves to Australia permanently?

On a random note, this is the type of guy I hope I will find one day...if I haven't already..
If I wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, I hope I'll turn and see you sleeping peacefully beside me..and I will hug you and smile...and I hope my thoughts would be "I'm glad we're in this together"..

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Little update.

I didn't mention in my blog that I went to Bali last month to visit the children who I spent 3 months with a few months ago. Its really confusing for some of my friends who I'm not in constant contact with, and they just can't figure out where am I in the world at the moment. For your info, if you were wondering, I'm back in Malaysia and working as a mechanical engineer in a  Mechanical & Electrical consultant company in Taman Mayang, Petaling Jaya.

So anyway, I was back in Bali for a month, staying at the children's home the whole time.
All I can say is that it was amazing to see the children again..and I feel so much a part of them and they are so much a part of me that I didn't feel like a guest there anymore. And it was so surprising that I could flow right back into speaking Indonesian..and it felt like I never left.

We had a walk through the rice fields one day, and another day, a group of us went into the city to watch Harry Potter! I have a really good friend there who I can talk to about anything. He is the sweetest and nicest boy I have ever met! We actually talked about watching Harry Potter coming out in November before I left Bali in September, and we were saying we could watch it at the same time, me in Malaysia and him in Bali. Who knew that I would actually be back there the exact week that it was released..=)

It was also especially nice because my 'godmother' decided to book tickets to Bali to meet me there when I told her about my decision to go for a week. Even though she was going to be back there in 2 weeks. And she is actually there right now! I'm a little jealous that I can't be there again so soon...but I'm really happy because she gives me little reports about how the children are, and what they are doing, and where they are going for outings..

So that was my little visit to Bali, now back to the present.

I've been really busy at work. And it doesn't stop. I always try to clear my work as soon as possible, and sometimes when I'm so close to finishing, my lead engineer hands me another few piles of documents to work on! Hahaha. The average time I leave the office now is around 8.30pm, and there was one day when I left at 9.30pm. Seeing the sun still up when I leave the office is a very rare occurance now.

But I truly enjoy my job. So far I work well with my colleagues, and even when I have tonnes of work, I don't mind! And I realise it is really a blessing to be able to find such a job, and I am thankful for it.

I went for blood donation this morning in Tropicana City Mall. They poked the needle into my left arm, but somehow, the vein closed and my blood just refused to flow out anymore. So they had to poke my right arm. And now I have 2 sore arms. I always have complications when I donate blood, or when they are trying to get blood from me for blood tests. The last time I donated blood, my arm had a HUGE bruise which stayed for about a week. And considering how sore my arm feels right now, I'm expecting a bruise to appear by tomorrow morning. :(

Well, I'm off to bed..but before that, just to share with you..
I've found that it is good to start and end your day with laughter. Especially if you had too little sleep the night before, starting the day by reading or watching something funny will lighten your mood and give you a great start to your day. And no matter how tired or how bad a day you had, ending your day with laughter will give you an outlet for the pressure built up in you so that you can have a good night's sleep. So what I do each morning is to watch something funny/sweet/happy on Youtube while having breakfast before going to work. And to listen to some songs at night before sleeping. Any emo/sad/angry songs are filtered out.

So I wish all of you a pleasant start to tomorrow, a lovely simple day, and a happy close to the day.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Your grace

For Your grace in my life amazes me...and I cannot help but thank You and praise You every waking moment...

Saturday, 4 December 2010

I'm going down this path...

If after considering all the options, you realised that you don't have a choice, 
that this is the only one which would make you happy..
If after waiting for some signs to show you if it is indeed the only one, the road suddenly, against all odds, opens up for you to walk down that path..
Would you do it?

If you were given a clear chance to go after the one thing which you are convinced holds the key to your life happiness... 
Please, don't hesitate.

If you are so certain that that something/some place/someone is the guarantee to your happiness, what choice do you have but to risk it all and chase it?

Saturday, 13 November 2010

You would be so proud of me..

You would be so proud of me if you could see me now..
I'm now the person you always hoped I would be.
It's really ironic that it's only now that I learned how to be this better person.
But maybe that's how it is. I probably would never have learned to be this person if I continued to be with you.

You really would be proud of me...

Saturday, 6 November 2010

And I'm in love and I'm terrified...

I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life....

The paradox of pursuing happiness..

I posted this on Facebook and it seems that many people agree with this phrase that I read in a book.

"The three components of happiness are : 
something to do, someone to love, 
and something to look forward to."

As we all can see for ourselves, this world is filled with many(a bit too many) people who are very unhappy with their lives. But why? The world seems to be getting richer and richer, from footballers who earn millions of pounds a week to bank CEOs who get 80% increments + millions as their annual bonus. The world has never seen so much money. So, if what Malcolm Forbes says is true, that "Anyone who thinks that money can't buy happiness is shopping in the wrong places", then many of us should actually be laughing all day long. 

The sad thing about this is that what we witness couldn't be more different to what theory dictates.

The writer defines "something to do" as work that we are passionate about. Many people get so bored with their jobs because it was never their passion to begin with.

So if you manage to find something to do which you absolutely enjoy,
if you have love all around you - parents, siblings, that special someone, or your children,
and if you have something look forward to - a nice vacation to enjoy the fruit of your labor, for example..
Then I believe that you can't say that you are unhappy. 

I would love to be able to tell all the unhappy people...
Please don't sacrifice your relationships and time with your loved ones for work.
Never get into that cycle where you lose track of whether you work to live or live to work.

I truly wish that someone can learn something from this, just like how I did. Wishing all of you happiness and love in your lives...=)  

p/s: I always put in the title after I've finished writing a blog post..and I just typed "The pursuit of happiness" and realised what a paradox it is....Will we ever be able to stop pursuing and just let happiness come?

Thursday, 4 November 2010

If you ever choose to love someone...

If you ever choose to love someone,
Don't blame them for making you wait 
for something that's not for certain,
You were the one who chose to love and wait for them.

If you ever choose to love someone,
It does not matter if they love you back 
or even what they think of that,
It is your right to love anyone you choose to.

If you ever choose to love someone,
Do not be impatient,
What's meant to be yours will be yours.

If you ever choose to love someone,
Give them the space they need to continue to be the person they are right now.

If you ever choose to love someone,
Always remember,
That actions speak much louder than those 3 words.

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

I'm waiting, not for anything in particular, I'm just waiting...

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Happy birthday daddy...

Some pictures from our family celebration last Sunday. 
It's his birthday today =)

Mom and I

Enjoying my strawberry ice cream

Our birthday cake!!

Daddy and I cutting the cake

From left: Fav aunty, mom, little brother Ryan, and daddy

Love you daddy..



Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Quick Update!

It was my 22nd birthday on Monday, and I really want to put up some pictures of my family having dinner together, and some of my friends celebrating with me..but I've been really busy this week and so it'll have to be some time during the weekend.

Part of why I was busy was because I had to attend a training course on Monday and Tuesday. And there was an exam on Tuesday which I HAD to pass, otherwise I would need to repeat the 2-day training and examination. So on Monday night, though it was my birthday, I had to study!! =( My friends actually had a surprise birthday dinner for me and I had NO idea...I totally didn't expect it because I was so focused on studying for the exam. It was quite saddening. Hehe but the exam turned out much better than a lot of us expected. Many of those who wen for the training with me had already sat for the exam once or twice before, and I was worried I'd have to go through the same thing. But they too mentioned that the exam this time was simpler than the previous ones, so thank God for that =) We'll know the results in about 2 weeks' time.

I'm still really enjoying my job so far. I have so many things to learn, so many things to catch up on! Colleagues are throwing stuff on my 'in-tray' to CHECK, when I have absolutely no idea what that thing even is! Lol ! So this is my challenge for the next few weeks : to study and ask and catch up on everything as soon as possible.

Its Thursday night, which means its Friday tomorrow, which means that its the weekend really soon!! Yay! I don't mind going to work really.....its just really nice to sleep in for at least a day in one week. =) Goodnight and take care everyone!

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Love you baby..

I'm helping out with filing in the office at the moment, and yesterday as I was balancing some of the really heavy files on my hip, I was suddenly reminded of sweet little Deborah and how I always carried her like that.

 Here she is, taking her time tasting each alphabet..

And looking pretty and sweet in her little blue dress

Tuesday, 19 October 2010


Tuesday night. Tuesday is usually the hardest day for me when I was working, because the weekend feeling has faded away and you're not even mid-week yet. But today has been wonderful.

I'm so excited about my new job!! I've been helping one of my colleagues with documentation for ISO since last week, so I haven't had the chance to learn much about my actual job. But today I had a little briefing session and its amazing how excited I can get about pumps and water and water tanks and pressure! I'm so glad I decided to take the step of changing from design to consultancy. I feel its the right move for me.

Time to sleep :)

Sunday, 17 October 2010

It's a mad world...

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Saturday, 16 October 2010

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass

You know you can't keep letting it get you down
And you can't keep dragging that dead weight around.
If there ain't all that much to lug around,
Better run like hell when you hit the ground

Enjoyable Saturday..

Today is such a wonderful day. I went to Taman Pertanian Bukit Cahaya with a bunch of really nice friends to cycle around. The place was a hugeee recreational park. I was expecting the ride to be really relaxing, but it was challenging! It was uphill right from the start, and it was so funny when all of us tried to cycle up the hills but ended up just getting down and pushing our bikes. But the downhills were so fun...Wheee!!! Hope my friends will upload our pictures soon on Facebook.

Mom is finally home~ the end of my 2-week loneliness.

And my best friend is finally home too from Japan after a whole month!!! Happy happy happy...=)

I saw this video on someone else's blog, and I just love it!! The man has such a cute laugh and I can just imagine he must be a very kind and friendly person!

short post before goodnight...

Would love to have put some really fun and sweet videos up here, but I'm so exhausted I can't do anything much at the moment.

First day of work went quite well if I'm being positive, quite bad if I'm thinking negatively. =)
I'll get used to it I'm sure, and the environment in the office is really nice. I can see myself working there very happily.

Goodnight all!

Thursday, 14 October 2010

To be strong and of good courage

I'm starting a new job tomorrow, and I'm really excited about it! My title will be Mechanical Engineer at a Mechanical & Electrical consultancy firm. I like the sound of that :) And I'm quite sure I will enjoy my job.

I'm going to really miss this past one and a half months where I've pretty much stayed home and relaxed, doing lots of reading and watching movies on my computer. 

I've recently started reading the book of Joshua. And at this moment in time, I really feel strengthened by the words in this book. Something which happened so many years ago can still be a source of guidance for me in my life. And right now, I need continue to "Be strong and of good courage". 

Got to get ready to go out now. My favourite aunt needs to go to Shah Alam and I said I'll fetch her there.
On a sadder note, it's almost a year since my older aunt passed away(her sister), 18th of October. It's going to be very hard for this aunt to stay strong in the next few days... 

Have a blessed day everyone. Here's a song from one of my favourite artists of all time, Jay Chou. Though I don't speak Chinese very well, he was actually the person who made me love Chinese songs and learn Chinese from there.

Monday, 11 October 2010

Beauty in everything..

I love photography...there is so much beauty in the world that you could capture with a camera. 
There's a movie called One Hour Photo, and right at the beginning, the main character played by Robin Williams says this..

Most people don't take snapshots of the little things. The used Band-Aid, the guy at the gas station, the wasp on the Jell-O. But these are the things that make up the true picture of our lives. People don't take pictures of these things. 

The shutter is clicked. The flash goes off and they've stopped time, as if just for the blink of an eye.  

And if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it's this: I was here. I existed. I was young, I was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture. 

Photo by Jill Willcott


Long day...

This morning I woke up at 6.30am to go jogging. I'm really trying to get myself into a routine so that I can keep to it even when I start working.

Then I went to Sunway Pyramid for lunch with some new friends. Its really nice to meet new people, and I've been meeting so many new people recently that my mind is taking some time remembering all their names!

Now its dinner time, and I don't know what I want to eat. Its been a week since mom went off on holiday to East Europe, and 5 more days before she comes home. I try to busy myself each day but today has been a long and lonely day...and I still don't know what I should do about dinner.

Friday, 8 October 2010

A life worth living..

Today I went to Chow Kit, the well-known red light district of Kuala Lumpur, with a few new friends from Community Baptist Church.
We gathered together and had a time of prayer before going out into the streets to speak with people.

These friends of mine go to Chow Kit for ministry every week on Thursdays, so they knew a few 'regulars' around the area. Many of them are drug addicts, or used to be. There were also many women who sold their bodies for money.

We met a man sitting on the sidewalk who was from Kuching, Sarawak. He is a Muslim, but he hasn't been going to any mosques for a long long time. He is homeless, but he appears to be well-educated and spoke perfect English. He looks clean and well-dressed.

We start talking to him about Jesus Christ, and I thought he was going to tell us to leave, but instead, he listens very carefully and patiently to what Uncle Gabriel says. He tells us that he has read the Bible before, and he knows about Jesus Christ. Not only that, he has also read about Buddhism. He said that he used to be a devout Muslim, praying 5 times a day. But his life has been filled with difficulty, and at one point he just got fed up and stopped praying. Stopped believing.

But to me, he hasn't truly stopped believing. He agreed that us and everything around us was created by God, it can't be anything else. So what I think is that he stopped praying because what he believed in couldn't give him an answer as to why his life has turned out this way. Which was why he would even pick up a Bible to read, and search Buddhism as well. He is searching for something. He is longing for something. He himself said that he is not asking for riches, he is not asking for a perfect life, he is not even asking for a roof over his head. But what he is searching for is peace. A peace which he has not found as yet.

He told us that he has tried to go to a particular church a few times, but was not allowed to enter because he was a Muslim. I don't know what were the reasons the people from that church decided not to allow him to enter - it might have been they were afraid of breaking the law, or they might have just thought he was a homeless man who wanted money from them. But whatever their reasons were, I don't think they did the right thing. And this is where Uncle Gabriel says "They are not acting like true Christians". Because true Christians can be recognised by their 'kasih sayang'. Their love.

And it hit me, that though I was among a group of people who were generally despised and avoided at all costs, this was where I wanted to be. I loved them. I don't think it would have been possible for me to be able to love these people who were worlds different from us if I didn't have the love of Jesus Christ in my heart. He took the scales off from my eyes and showed me past the physical state of them, past their dirtiness, their poverty, and showed me that they were exactly the same as me - beloved children of God. Though they have wandered off their paths and ended up where they are now, God still loves them as much as the day they were born. And so should we, as people who call ourselves followers of Christ.

The past few months in my life have taught me so many things, but there is one thing that I can be certain of, especially after today. That I see no point whatsoever in a life where I have everything I need and to keep pursuing for more than what I need, without helping anyone else. To me, that is a very meaningless life and a very sad one.

We are all human beings. The Lord has blessed some of us with a lot, and others with much less. Why can't we stop being so selfish and live only on what we truly need? Why waste our efforts on hoarding more and more riches while a fellow human being is sleeping on the street, hungry? Why is there so much pressure on getting that 'perfect' job and sticking at it even if you're unhappy? I find what I did tonight so much more fulfilling than a life like that.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Much Love Monday : Yummy felt cake!

I made this for mom the first week I got back from Bali while waiting for replies from job applications.
I couldn't get a very good picture of it using my phone..but the cream part in this picture is actually bright yellow and it looks really bright and cheerful..

When I was young, I loved drawing pictures and cards for mom.
I'm sure lots of you did that as well when you were young. =)
But unfortunately as we grow up, we kind of forget how much more meaningful these are to our parents rather than expensive gifts.

Mom is moving to Melbourne in a few months' time...I hope she'll place this next to her bed when she's there and think of me every night before she goes to sleep. 

Friday, 1 October 2010

Eat, Pray, Love..

It's the 1st of October, can you imagine? I really can't believe how quickly time is passing by. It seems like the weeks are flying past, even though I'm pretty much just sitting at home everyday, which usually feels like time is dragging on. But I'm enjoying myself. I'm enjoying this time I have to sort out my thoughts after a huge change in my life. And I'm enjoying being on my own.

I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love today. I've been looking forward to the movie for quite some time, after I read the book. And it didn't disappoint. Of course, like all movies based on novels, a lot of what was written in the book had to be condensed. But I felt that they kept the essence of what the writer was essentially trying to tell us.

I don't know about other people, but everytime I watch a movie or read a novel, I always find myself trying to see a bit of myself in the actress or main character. Sometimes I don't see myself at all, and sometimes its a bit more. But in Eat, Pray, Love ... I felt like they were telling my story.

Many people who read the book were in some ways affected by it. They learned to take a step closer to what they want in life. But I only knew about the book after those events took place in my life. And during some scenes in the movie, I wanted to cry so badly because it was just too similar to what I went through.

I've met a few people recently who have affected me more than they would ever know. And one of the most important things that they taught me, was that sometimes, we have to be selfish. There is a point in our lives where we need to consciously make the decision to stop following what other people tell you that you SHOULD do, and just do what you want to do. And sometimes that involves being very selfish and hurting other people.

After it all, just like Elizabeth Gilbert, I still very often think of the past. But, just like her, it wasn't because I still love him. Its because I still hope that one day..he might be able to forgive me for being so selfish. Though I wouldn't go back even if you gave me a hundred chances to turn back time. I would still take this path each time.

I loved the last few sentences Julia Roberts said towards the ending.

Friday, 17 September 2010

I recently came out of a long relationship, and one thing that really hit me was that I didn't cry very much over it. In fact I cried much more in past relationship which had so much less depth and were much shorter..some weren't even relationships! And I only just realised and fully understood why while I was out for a run. I can finally justify to myself, which is so much more important than justifying to others, that I'm not a total cold-blooded person. That it wasn't wrong for me not to break down because of the end of a really long and meaningful relationship.

Not many people knew about the end of this relationship, and some did not even know about it. And after a whole month, I started telling friends and family. Many of them were shocked and all they wanted to know was why. Why did it end? For some of them, I tried to explain in detail..but for some I didn't have the strength to. Because I was still afraid of being judged by them. It is so sad, but in our world today, the moment you tell someone that you broke up, they jump to the conclusion that there is a third party involved. Especially if you're not crying your eyes out while you relate your part of the story to them. So when asked why, I sometimes decided to keep my silence until I figured out myself why I was not so sad about it.

And half an hour ago, I fully understood why. It is because I have grown up so much since before the start of this relationship until now. I still remember clearly the last time I had my heart broken, I was swearing to my brother that if I don't find a good guy, I won't get into a relationship. I won't even get married when the time comes if I don't find a suitable guy. And I managed to keep that promise to myself. I didn't get into a relationship until I found that good guy. He was so good to me, more than any other guy has ever been. We were together for 2 years and 9 months, and even until the end, on (almost) every 21st of the month, we would wish each other Happy Anniversary. And I do realise that I might not ever in my whole life be able to find another guy who would treat me as good as he did.

So why didn't I cry? Because I did manage to find a good guy, but in the process also learned that a good guy does not necessarily mean Happily Ever After. There are so many other factors, like personality, religion, mindset, family issues. These are all ingredients that you need to have a healthy loving relationship. Like I said, I realise that I might not find a guy who is as good to me as he was. But I might be able to find one who is more compatible with me in terms of personality, religion, mindset and everything else.

Before I decided to end the relationship, I was afraid that I would be making the biggest mistake of my life. I tried to tell myself to compromise. Everywhere, and almost every single day, we hear this phrase: No one is perfect. And I know no one is perfect! That wasn't what I was expecting of him. And I am not expecting any guy who I like to be perfect. But the most important is that all the imperfections in that person and myself  would add up to a perfect relationship. And I knew that the imperfections in this guy and me, don't add up to that. Some people would say, compromise. But I'm young, and he's young. I still have a chance to find someone who would suit me more, and the same for him. If I'm feeling things like this now in our relationship, what would it be like if we really did end up together in marriage? I just know that it won't work out.

So that is why I'm not crying everyday. I still miss him every now and then when I allow myself to dwell upon the past. When I go anywhere, the memories of us there together haunt me until sometimes I just want to go home. So many things remind me of him. And there are things which I just can't allow myself to think of yet for fear of crying. But at the end of each day, I get stronger. I understand myself more, and why I did what I did. I don't regret my decision, even if it hurts.

To you: I know no matter how many times I apologise, you might not be able to fully forgive me. But I thank you for every single thing that you have done for me. I never forgot them, and I might not ever forget them. All I hope for you from the bottom of my heart is that you have a successful future and that you will find a girl who treats you better than I did and who is more suitable for you. She will be a very lucky girl to have you. I know you will find her, and I'm not just saying it. All the best to you.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

I got the job...

Its Tuesday night, I'm having a quiet night at home (I predict lots more quiet nights at home from now on). Hopefully there's something good on TV later. I haven't watched TV in years. I mean like properly sit down and watch it. I'm always running off to meet my friends somewhere, or stayed in my room on the internet. I hope to watch more TV, especially with my mom.

I went for my first job interview since I came back from Bali this afternoon. It was quite an adventure finding the place -  I didn't know the area very well and was depending on a self-drawn map to lead me there. I finally found the area, but was very in doubt because it was a village, with lovely village houses all around. And then there it was, right smack in the middle of nowhere. I heaved a sigh of relief that I found it and walked in.

The interview was pretty alright, and I wasn't feeling nervous as I usually do. I managed to convince them really well that I was the best candidate for the job, and was looking forward to discussing the pay. Then they told me the working hours, and suddenly I wasn't very interested in the pay anymore. The hours were horrible! I'm not a choosy person at all, but that was just downright breaking the labour law. And the pay wasn't good.

Of course I couldn't let them see my utter disappointment, so when the Managing director asked me when I would like to start, I mentioned a date. I tried to push it a bit later so that I could have time to think of a good reason to reject his offer of a job. And he said that would be fine, come in and sign the offer letter day, see you then. So just like that, I had the job. The job which breaks the labour law and which I planned to reject.

So here I am, still looking for a suitable job, and hoping I wouldn't have to be lying to the director when I tell him that "I'm really sorry, but I got a better offer". Because that's the most polite excuse I can think of right now..

p/s: I can't stop thinking of last Tuesday night when we had the big dinner at the Children's Home outside on the porch. And how everyone was just having such a great time, and then us riding on the motorbikes to Kuta for some drinks..all the laughter and silliness...and the ride home, and sneaking in feeling all scared.. Oh I miss all of you so much!!!!!

Monday, 6 September 2010

My Much love Monday

My first post for Much Love Monday - a sweet letter from my crazy roomie Shae when I was living at the Children's Home in Bali. She's the sweetest ever..she secretly put it in my luggage on the night I was leaving and only told me about it afterwards. I don't often receive letters, and this was the best souvenir I could have asked for from Bali..

So, I need to mention one thing that I love..I suppose that would have to be a letter from someone I love. No matter family, friends, or a guy =)

Hope all of you are enjoying your Monday so far...much love to you from me.

Kim xxx

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

My last day at the Children's Home

Today is my last day at the Children's Home. I've dreaded this day from 2 months ago. But surprisingly, very very surprisingly, I feel fine today. 2 days ago, I said to Shae(my lovely crazy roommate) that I felt really sad, and she said "Wait till you wake up on Wednesday morning"..and I was thinking the same thing, I thought I would feel awful today, but I don't.

Last night, Anand and Sabrina from Holland treated us all to a hugeee dinner, with grilled fish and ice cream after! We had our meal outside, and the weather was perfect. After dinner, we started snapping pictures, and it was really fun. Then some of us went into Kuta on the bikes, and it was just such a silly, totally unforgettable night.

This morning, I got up at 8am, hoping I wouldn't just start crying all of a sudden, but as I said, I felt fine. And after having a shower, I walked out and what do I see, Kristian and Kenzo trying to have a shower on their own. This is definitely the first time I have ever ever seen Kenzo wanting to have a shower on his own. I need to explain, this is the boy who usually starts bawling his eyes out the moment you try to take his shirt off for a shower. It was such a sight, I'm sure my jaw dropped open before I realised it wasn't my imagination and I helped them shower. And Kenzo didn't cry at all!!! He usually HATES to have his head wet, but he didn't cry, all he said was that he was scared, and I gently told him that its just water and there's nothing to be afraid of. Oh I wish I could stay a bit longer to really get him used to showering and show him that a shower is nothing to be scared of.

So my day started in such a surprisingly wonderful way that I think I can cope with it. Thank you Lord for this day.

Monday, 23 August 2010

Its getting close..

Some of the children have been asking me when am I going home to Malaysia. And when I say in about a week, they ask me "Why?? Why so soon? Why can't you stay longer?"...They have no idea how much it hurts when I have to say "I can't"..

I followed the children to Club Med last Tuesday which was the Indonesian Independence Day, because they were playing the angklung and kulintang there. I felt so so so happy to be able to go with them, and so proud when all the customers at the restaurant enjoyed the music so much. Everytime I hear them playing the instruments now, I feel so sad, because I wish I could continue to hear them play all the time..I felt so much like their older sister..

When I first came to the home as a volunteer, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how much I would be able to help. But the longer I stayed, the more I wanted to be a part of the children's daily lives, not just stay there as a guest. And I think I can honestly say that I got what I wanted. I feel so much a part of the home now, it doesn't feel like I am leaving them. I try to help in the kitchen, I play with the little ones, I help the older ones with homework, I stay up and chat and watch movies with them, I even call Sandra "Mama" now!  It almost feels like I am just going home to do what I need to do, and there is this strange guarantee in my mind that I will be back. I do not know why. And the worst part is that when the children ask me when I will come back again, I can't give them an answer..and I can't tell them about this 'guarantee' in case things don't work out that way. 

I sometimes look at Sandra, at how happy she is, and I offer up a silent prayer for her that the Lord will continue blessing her so that she may continue to give her love to the children and spread the blessing to all those lives. 
When I look at Tommy, his sweet and gentle smile which can brighten anyone's day..I wish I was part of their family. When I look at the younger boys, like Franz and Wayan and Aldi, I just wish I could stay and continue to help them with their homework, to continue being their 'kakak'..When I'm helping the older girls in the kitchen, preparing the vegetables, or cooking, I feel just like one of them. When I look at the little boys and girls like Kristian, Krisna, Kenzo, and Deborah, I wish I could give them the love and comfort of a mother which they deserve so much. Each time I hold them in my arms and hug them, I want to tell them how much I love them..

I wish I could tell them how I feel, but I don't want to make them even I have to keep all this to myself..and my blog readers.. 

Love to all..pray for me that I won't break down and cry my eyes out this week!xxx

Sunday, 8 August 2010

I feel your pain..

Sometimes we meet new people and unexpectedly find a good friend. If I could write a list of the good friends that I love and cherish with all my heart, I think it would be a very very long list. I believe that good friends not only share joyful moments, but also the heartaches. I love it when my friends trust me enough to let me into their lives and share their sadness with me. And I have learnt that sometimes there is really nothing you can say to comfort them. That they too don't require you to say any wise words of comfort. For there are times when just your presence next to them, reminding them that they are not going through the problem all they need.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Party for the children!

Last night all of us volunteers went to Carrefour in the morning to buy food and drinks for the party we were planning for the night. It went really really well!! We even had a 'dress code' for the children : Black/White.
We had the music on really loud, and we started dancing, and then there were games like Limbo and Musical Chairs..and there were prizes for the winners. It was just so wonderful to see the happy faces all around!

Deborah who is 8 months old is really growing so much day by day. Yesterday, as I was picking her up, she said "Ma Ma Ma"..and I was so shocked, because that was probably the first time she actually said something other than baby talk!! She is so sweet and adorable, we all love her so much that she's always being snatched from one person to another all the time.

I'm also getting really close to Sandra, who runs the children's home. Having been here for more than 2 months now, I am just more and more amazed at how well she runs the home. She doesn't limit the children with rules and punishments, and it is obvious that the children know and appreciate that a lot. They respect her so much, and it shows that you don't need to be feared to be respected. The more I witness how much difference the presence of true love for the children can make, the more I pray and hope that in the future, I would be able to be as good a mother as Sandra is to the children. That I wouldn't need to always be worried and shouting at my children for them to be disciplined.

I was speaking to one of the boys who has been in the children's home for about 6 or 7 years now, and the appreciation he has for the love shown to him and all the children was just so touching. He said that he has friends from other homes, and he himself has been to see some other children's homes, and he still thinks that Seeds of Hope is the best. He explained that he doesn't just say that because he lives here, but because he really means it. The other homes might have better facilities, or might be cleaner, but there is always a barrier between the people/family who run the homes and the children. They would have the children's quarters, and a separate place for the owners of the home, and the children wouldn't be allowed to go to their place. Whereas at Seeds of Hope, the children always come in after school in the afternoons and they wish Good Afternoon to Sandra(mama) and they sit down and watch TV with her!

I have never ever heard Sandra speaking loudly to them, or scolding them. Even when a few boys were being really naughty last week, the way that Sandra teaches them is so gentle, but SO effective! She doesn't shout at them, but she speaks kindly to them, and gets to the root of the problem rather than punish them without listening to their side of the story.

Its 3 pm now, I think I'll get back to the home soon and have a chat with Sandra if she is not taking an afternoon nap before getting ready for Youth meeting at the church in Denpasar tonight.

Till next time, love to all. =)


Thursday, 5 August 2010

After a longggg hiatus..

FINALLY....after a bit more than 2 months in Bali, I manage to get into my Blogger account and update my blog!!!! I can't describe how much I've missed blogging!! There are just some things which I can't make myself say on my Facebook update status. Some are too personal, that I only want the people who are interested enough in my little boring life to look in my blog to know.

So, I think I'll just give a very condensed version of my life for the past 2 months living in the children's home in Bali.

I got to Seeds of Hope Children's Home on the 1st of June, and the first week was really emotional for me. I felt so lonely at times, even though I was surrounded by 60 children all the time! I was feeling homesick, and I really wished I could talk to some of my friends back home..But thankfully, after the 2nd week, I got so much closer to all the children and the volunteers that I didn't feel so lonely anymore. I also tried to help around in the kitchen, play with the children, and started following the children to Youth meetings in church and worship on Sundays.

It was quite difficult speaking Indonesian at first, even though it was pretty similar to Malay. The intonation and the words they use in everyday life is so different from Malay! At first I could hardly understand when some of the children spoke to me. But last week, I was in Ubud, and a man there didn't believe me when I said I was Malaysian, because he said I speak Indonesian very well, and I even sound like a Balinese!! I was like..REALLY??? But anyway, I was really flattered, because it honestly wasn't easy at the start to speak Indonesian.

Now, I feel so much at home at the children's home that I know it is going to be SOOOO hard leaving. I am definitely not looking forward to it. And it doesn't help that people keep putting these ideas in my head that I could move to Bali!! I think I've learnt from the past few months that I should never say never..and I'm not saying that I will never move to Bali, because goodness, I DO want to. Badly. But I know in my head that now is not the time. I still have some things to settle in Malaysia before I can even start thinking about such a huge step in my life. Its just that I feel so much like an older sister for the children, and I know I can help them in my own way if I lived here...

There are too many things to say that I really don't know what to write! Now that I've found the password to my own blog, I'm gonna try to update more often with some daily events that happen at the home. Because there is always always always something going on there.

So stay tuned, whatever readers of my blog are left. =)

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Letters to Juliet..

So yesterday was my last day at work, and it turned out just how I wanted it to be. Simple, nothing out of the ordinary, and not sad.
I can get reallyyyy sentimental at times, and I just didn't want that to happen..even though I felt really sad leaving. 

After work, my colleagues arranged a farewell dinner for me, and we went over to Puchong for some dim sum. It was just so wonderful to be able to hear their laughter for the last time, and laugh along with them. 
At previous dinners, I didn't dare make a sound, because I always felt that I need to respect the seniors(managers and assistant managers). I know it's silly, because opening my mouth to join in the conversation would surely come across better than sitting there just smiling like I'm nuts. 
But tell that to the introvert in me. I'm still shy by nature, and its time like these, when I don't NEED to speak up, that this character of mine surfaces. 

Today, I slept in till 9am..and woke up to a bright complexion - I love it when I don't wake up to a zombie looking at me in the mirror. =) 
Then I washed my clothes, and got ready to go to Sunway Pyramid to enjoy my first day off work!

I really wanted to watch Letters to Juliet, so I got myself a ticket, then went to Wong Kok Restaurant to have lunch(didn't like the waiter - he looked at me like I'm a freak just because I was eating alone..) and then went to the cinema. 
The movie was AMAZING. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it!
It started with the song by Colbie Caillat - You Got Me, and I knew right then that it was gonna be good. 
It was funny and romantic, and the scenery in the movie was sooo beautiful!!
The plot is just so unique, and so touching..
Writing a letter to Juliet, 50 years pass, and receiving a amazing it must feel to get that letter in the post.
Most of the movie was filmed in Verona, Italy. 
I've always loved Italy .. and I wished so much that I could go visit again...

And it wasn't just the scenery either..I really loved looking at the lovely dresses and outfits they had for Sophie(Amanda Seyfreid)..

Its really refreshing to know that there is still true love in the world, after seeing all the things we see in this day and age.

And to know that true love always passes the test of wondeful. That even if you don't end up with that person, he/she will still always be your true love..and no one can take that from the both of you.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

My secret unveiled: I'm going to Bali a volunteer this time

Some time ago, I said that I have a secret. I had to tell the people closest to me before I felt I could announce it to more people..hence the wait.

I will be going to Kuta, Bali to volunteer at an orphanage for 3 months. I quit my current job, and will look for another one when I come back from Bali. Typing these facts in 2 sentences took almost no effort and less than 10 seconds. But actually making these statements into facts was a huge step of faith and courage for me.

It definitely was no easy task trying to step out of my comfort zone. I had wanted to become a volunteer in another country since I was in university, but of course it wasn't possible at the time because I couldn't possibly skip lectures for a few months at a time. And so this ambition remained a dream. After university, like any normal graduate, I looked for jobs. Having found a job, I accepted the offer, and life went on as normal. This is what you call a normal graduate's life. This ambition of mine didn't occur to me until I went to Bali in April.

When I was there, I saw a difference between the Balinese and us, Malaysians. I have to be honest - I was expecting it to be a lot like home, speaking languages which were similar and such. But what I saw was the happiness the Balinese had. The simplicity of life mixed with a truly rich culture. They were friendly, religious, simple, and happy. I was mesmerized by them. And the last few days I was there, I realised that I would very much like to stay. If I could have my way, I think I might have just tried finding a job there and settled down there right there and then. But of course, I still had to come back to reality.

So I came back to Malaysia with a heavy heart. I wanted so badly to go back, and I didn't want to just go back as a tourist. I knew I wanted something more meaningful. I wanted to spend more time there than just a week, sightseeing. I wanted to get to know the people. To see if what I saw the first time as a tourist was just a portrait on the surface, or if the Balinese truly knew what its like to be happy. Something which sounds simple enough, but how many of us in the world today actually know what it is about?

I can't even actually remember what made me remember this little ambition of mine. It just came back to me very very suddenly, and the little gears in my mind started turning. Slowly at first, then rapidly increasing speed..turning turning turning...until I thought to myself "What's stopping me?".

I had already planned to look for another job some time soon. I didn't feel this was the right job for me, but this isn't the point. I felt that this was the perfect timing for me to go be a volunteer, just by lengthening the gap between my jobs by 3 months.

It seemed simple enough to me, and I felt that I could do it. But there was the very daunting task of telling my mom about it. I knew this wouldn't come off as good news to her, but I had to have her support. When I decide to do something, I give my all to accomplish it. I knew that I wanted to do it, and I felt I was independent enough to go ahead with it, but I was nervous...I was scared! I know I've been away from home for 3 years, studying abroad. But this is a totally different league altogether! No one I know has even done anything like this. No one I know has ever done something so out of the ordinary! I just knew I had to have my mom's support to be able to go through with it.

My mom's responese was as I expected - bad. It was really really really bad. I couldn't make her understand why this was so important to me, and why I wanted to do it now. She kept trying to talk me out of it, and was very angry at me for risking my career to go off and do this. She felt that I was being very irresponsible about this. But I knew for certain in my heart that what she was saying was not true. I had everything planned out in my head, and though she's my mom and I know I had to respect her, I still felt that it was the right decision, and I had to just summon my guts to book the tickets to prove to her that I was serious about it. So one day, I did it. I booked the tickets, and that afternoon itself I handed in my letter of resignation. That night, I told my mom about it. That was the day I did 3 very brave things.

So it was settled - I was going to fly to Bali on the 31st of May and returning on the 2nd of September. The tickets were paid for, and that sealed the deal. All that was left to do was preparations to go.

Thankfully my mom has now come to accept my reasons for going. 

Now, I've gotten my police clearance, I applied for my visa today, and its less than 2 weeks before I go over. Part of me still can't believe that I actually did all those things. That I had the guts to do those things and tell people about it. Being afraid of people's judgement of me for all my life, this was the one time I've ever felt so afraid that they were going to label me a 'freak'. I'm serious. I knew this is not 'ordinary', and so I expected many people to tell me that I was being rash and not thinking things through before making such a big decision. But I've always been a quick decision-maker, and I was 100% certain that this was what I wanted to do - so I had to have the guts to tell people about it. And truly surprisingly, the responses have been wonderful. It has been more than wonderful. With each positive response, I felt more and more certain that I am not a freak, and that I didn't make a wrong decision. I can't express how grateful I am to all my friends who have been so supportive and so understanding. Who encouraged me when I was doubtful, and who gave me the confidence I truly needed.

So this is my story....=) I'm looking forward to it.

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Confession of a Procrastinator #1

I do realise that I haven't written about Day 4 or Day 5 of my trip to Bali, and at this point, most of you are probably already thinking "What trip to Bali? Ohhhh...THAT trip to Bali, the one which was more than a month ago!". Yes. I am a procrastinator. Please bear with me. I'm hoping to get that up by tomorrow night. No promises. Haha.

Yay, I'm going for Bak Kut Teh tomorrow morning!!
Ooooh so much to look forward to in life, don't you think? =)

Have a nice weekend, everyone! Anyone want to share their plans? Shopping? Food hunt?

Thursday, 13 May 2010

I love : 伽藍雨

Some of you might know that I'm a fan of Jay Chou. 
I don't like him because of his looks, and sometimes I have to admit that his songs are too typical and I don't like all of them just because they were written by him. 

What I like about him is his attitude. 
His family situation is very similar to mine. He loves his mom and grandma a lot, and is not shy to show it. 
He is famous, but I never felt that he is boastful or pompous. 

Sometimes when I listen to his songs, I have a very special feeling which I find very difficult to explain, but I'll try. 
I especially love those which have a classic Chinese feel to them, sort of reminds me of songs which you would hear from China during my grandparents' time.
For example, 東風破(Dong Feng Po) and 发如雪(Fa Ru Xue).
The instruments he use are also quite unique at times, using traditional Chinese instruments which not many people know how to play anymore. 

These songs make me feel some sort of a connection with Jay Chou, other than the fact that we come from quite similar backgrounds. 
Another fact about me that not many people might know is that I love traditional Chinese culture. 
I've always had a feeling of wanting to go back to the 1920's in China, especially Shanghai, to an era where the Chinese were starting to be influenced by Westerners in terms of fashion and entertainment, amongst other things.

When I listen to these songs, I almost feel like I'm transported back to these times. 
And I feel like Jay Chou and I are alike in this way as well, that we are in the modern world, but we love looking back to the past. 
We admire the rich culture of the Chinese, and I feel like I'm very close to Jay Chou when I listen to these unconventional songs of his. Almost like we are siblings. 
Haha I know its silly. But oh well, that's the best I can do to explain the feeling I get when I hear his songs.

He has a new album coming out, and a good friend sent me this Youtube link. I LOVE it. The song is called


I feel like Jay is going back to his own style, the style which made me fall in love with his songs. 

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

The only exception

Sorry for not updating for so long =) 
Been quite busy for the past few weeks preparing to leave..(more about this another time)

Short update today: 
1) A chat with a friend of mine which made my day - you know you're close friends when you have nicknames

2) 'Discovered' some really nice songs on the radio while driving all the way to Putrajaya alone. I haven't been listening to the radio for such a long time - always a CD playing in the car

3) One of the songs I heard was The Only Exception by Paramore
The words to the song really hits a sensitive spot. 
And unfortunately I can connect with the whole song except the chorus. 
Everything else is exactly how I've felt for a long time, and am still feeling.
I am still afraid of the future, and a part of me is convinced that I will never have the family I dream of. 

A really really good friend of mine was listening to my worries just a few days ago. And the words he said to me, though simple, were so touching that I couldn't stop my tears. Thank you. You really gave me hope. I will always remember those words you told me. 

Here are the lyrics to the song. 

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream


You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Lyrics from

I think I am on my way to believing. I'm trying to... 

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Just for fun!

I saw this on Ducks Like Tea , just doing it for fun. Go ahead and copy and paste this in your blog, and drop me a comment so I can have a look at your answers too! 

1. Where is your cell phone: Next to me on my bed.

2. Your hair: Long and wavy

3. Your favorite food: Pan mee (noodles)

4. Your dream from last night: I can't remember any from last night, even though I usually remember most of the dreams I have. 

5. Your favorite drink: Green tea ice blended with cream on top. Nyam!

6. Your dream/goal: To live a contented, loving and happy life. 

7. What room are you in: My room, my haven

8. What are your hobbies: Reading, writing, singing, swimming, laughing

9. What is your fear: Height, insects, and blood. Oh, and of being judged.

10. Where do you want to be in 6 years: Malaysia. Living a happy life. =P

11. Where were you last night: At home lazing around after long day at work. 

12. Something you are not: I am anything but boring. 

13. Muffins: Love-hate relationship. Love them but hate the calories =(

14. Wish list items: Books, pretty clothes, lovely room

15. Where did you grow up: Petaling Jaya, Malaysia

16. Last thing you did: Bought skincare stuff to combat recent breakout problem!

17. What are you wearing: Pyjamas. T-shirt and shorts.

18. Your TV: I haven't watched it for a long long long time...I got used to not watching TV when I was studying in the UK for 3 years. We didn't have a TV there. 

19. Your pets: I don't have any. =( But another thing to add to my wish list. I want a dog when I have my own place. 

20. Your friends: I love them with all my heart. Truly appreciate them. 

21. Your favorite store: Book stores. And little clothes shops instead of huge chain stores.

22. Your favorite color: Green.

Ask me anything

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Do you believe in God?

Yes, definitely. I have ever since I could remember. And I couldn't stop believing even when I tried not to.

Ask me anything

Lovely Links..

I found a few blogs today which I really enjoyed looking at. 
They're simple yet meaningful at the same time, pretty and beautiful.



Do have a look at them, I absolutely love them!! Hopefully one day I might be able to do something like what they do too. =)
 Have a lovely day, everyone!

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Day 3

Barong Dance at Batu Bulan

Our plan was to go to Kintamani first thing in the morning. But according to Gede, we should catch a Barong dance at Batu Bulan on the way to Kintamani. We weren’t sure if we should go at first, because KF had seen someone comment in the forums on the ‘fake-looking’ dancing at Batu might have been the Kechak dance, because I thoroughly enjoyed the Barong dance.

The Barong dance portrays a mixture of myth and history, about Barong(good) and Rangda(evil). I really enjoyed the play even though I am usually scared of such things. And it was quite difficult to hear what was being said because we were all the way at the back. Anyway it probably wouldn't have helped that much even if we were in the front, because they were speaking Balinese or Indonesian, and I didn't much understand them even when I could hear them. Thankfully we were each given a piece of paper when we entered which tells us the different scenes in the play and gives a little summary of what happens.

I asked Gede about the dance, because I remember him saying that in Barong dance, the dancers go into a trance, but not so for the Kechak dance. So I was asking him which dancers were in a trance, because we couldn’t see anyone who seemed like they were in any sort of trance (even though they were all a bit scary at first). He said that the men at the end of it were in a trance, and that the ‘keris’ that they were using to try to pierce their abdomens were real ones, not fake plastic ones which was what I thought they

Shopping at Sukawati

So the next stop, was…Sukawati! We were looking forward to this so much(I was!), but by this time we realized that we had totally under-budgeted our trip and were running out of Rupiahs! So with a heavy heart I told myself to have a proper look at the things and control myself from spending too much there.

When we arrived, there was a flock of vendors waiting for us to get out of our car and convince us that we needed a hat, sunglass, batik, keychains, blablabla.

We walked into the market, and found lots of little keychain penises hanging everywhere. By this point, I realised that this is very very very common in Bali. I do not get the point of something like that as a keychain. To me, there is no aesthetic value to it, or any other value either! Feng gets excited and mentions again that she would love to buy some. Haha!

We keep looking for the sarong that we saw the day before at GWK, but to no avail. *I feel like going back in time and smacking my head now, because only on the last day did we find out that the sarong we were looking for were just normal sarongs with a little clincher added to it. We thought it came together with the sarong! Could have easily gotten a simple sarong anywhere cheap and buy the clincher separately. Argh!!*.
We went upstairs where there were bags. I was planning to buy bags, so that was my stop. I saw 2 which I liked, and started bargaining. She offered 250,000Rp for the 2 bags, I finally got them for 92,000Rp! Hehehe. Feng and KF didn’t get anything though.

Mount Batur and Lake Batur, Kintamani

On then to Kintamani to see Mount Batur(the volcano). When we arrived at Kintamani, Gede warned us that there will again be many vendors swarming us, and that if we weren’t planning on buying anything from them, it was best to just completely ignore them. Otherwise, if the others see that we show even the slightest of interest, they would come swarming around us as well and there would be no point of escape. Ok I added the last bit in, about no point of escape =P. But you get the idea, right?

So we got down, and started taking pictures. Thankfully, the swarming didn’t come too bad! I’m sure it would have been 10x worse if we had white skin, so..yeah. Sometimes being Asian is not all bad. LOL. The view, I have to admit, wasn’t the best. It was drizzling and overcast. No good pictures of it at all. Sad.. 

Gede asked us if we would like to have lunch at Kintamani. As we had already seen from the forum(notice how much we learnt from the forums – or, another way to put it, how much we depended on them) that the buffets there were super expensive, not tasty, and totally not worth it, we decided to only have our lunch when we got down. It was already about 2pm when we got down, and I was famished!

Pura Tirta Empul, Tampak Siring

We proceeded to a place called Tampak Siring, where there was another temple – Pura Tirta Empul. “Pura” means temple by the way(I think), not the same as in Malay where it means ‘pretend’. It was raining quite heavily when we got there, and we had to use umbrellas to walk around. Pura Tirta Empul was quite beautiful. It really reminded me of Nepal, where they have lots of public baths and where people would go there to pray and bathe in the sacred water. It was the same here.

There was a lady there who really caught my attention. It was really starting to pour at the time, and she was still kneeling there, praying very piously, totally unfazed and unaffected by the big drops of rain pouring down and soaking her through. I could see her murmuring with her eyes closed, in her own world, worshipping her God. I remember thinking to myself “I wonder what she is praying for.”
It seemed almost as if she really needed something, or that she was very very grateful for something her God has granted her. She looked really beautiful at that moment, even though her hair was stuck to her head, and her clothes were drenched. I don’t know this lady, but I felt that she has what we call, inner beauty. 

Bebek Bengil Diner, Ubud

We then travelled down to Ubud. It was quite a distance, and we passed by many paddy fields. One of them was Tegalalang, where Gede stopped and let us go down to take some pictures. It was drizzling at the time, and we quickly snapped some pictures. We were there for such a very short time, but I will forever remember the beauty of Tegalalang terraced paddy fields

Since we didn’t have lunch, we had our meal at Bebek Bengil restaurant, Ubud. It’s a famous restaurant which we had also read about in the forums. We had read that it was totally worth it, but for some reason (I think it was to do with us running out of cash) we had decided earlier that we want to pass it up for our next visit to Bali. But Gede insisted, he said that anyone who comes to Bali MUST try the bebek bengil and babi guling. So we changed our minds and went for bebek bengil.
*Bebek bengil means 'dirty duck'. But there's a story to it, and it has nothing to do with us eating unclean/unwashed duck meat. Hehe.*

We ordered 3 dishes. One was, of course, the bebek bengil. It was roasted to perfection. I never liked duck. NEVER EVER. Its dry, rough, and there’s no nice sauce to go with it. But bebek bengil has changed my mind about duck meat forever.

The skin was roasted till it was super crispy, and the meat was sooo tender!!! Just thinking about it now makes me
The 2nd dish was also duck, but I can’t really remember the name of it. It had sauce on it, and it was absolutely delicious too.
And the 3rd dish was nasi campur, which was basically like nasi lemak. I didn't think it was special. 

It was 3.15pm when we finished, and our massage/spa was booked for 5pm. We had already allocated time to look for a hotel. Gede said he asked him friend, and apparently there was a cheap but nice hotel on Monkey Forest road. So there we went, to Graha Ubud hotel. It was empty. More or less. But I liked the feel of it anyway. The man there took us to look at Room 1, and it was nice, but there was 1 bed which was situated farrr away from the other 2. And the toilet was very very dim, but huge! I didn’t really like the toilet to be honest. But anyway, we took it.

After leaving our luggage in the room, we start driving to the massage place. On the way, we pass by Ibu Oka babi guling up the street, but there was no time to stop, and there was probably no more babi for us anyway. Sad!! This is a very very famous place for babi guling!

Sang Spa, Ubud

We then arrive at the street the massage centre is on – and it’s a small alley that gets smaller and smaller. Sang Spa was well hidden almost at the end of the road. Gede used his phone to call the massage centre and ask where it was. Finally we found it, number 29.

We go in, and were served little cups of tea. Gede arranged with the receptionist to send us back to the hotel after our spa. He then arranged to come pick us up at the hotel at 10am the next morning, enough time for us to have breakfast and a little walk to the Ubud Market.

Then, we were escorted into the massage room. We requested to have a room for the 3 of us. There were 3 beds, I was asked to go to the middle one. Feng went to the toilet. KF and I were asked to remove our clothings – much to our horror!! I knew there had to be something for us to use to cover ourselves up, but there were no sarongs in sight! So we looked around, and finally I saw the sarongs laid so beautifully on the beds, as if they were a part of the bed linen. So KF and I agree to the policy of “I don’t look at you, you don’t look at me” and take off our clothes. Feng then comes in and proceeds to do the same, and KF and I make sure to look away. Hahaha.

Our masseuses then came in, and asked us to lie facedown on the beds – naked. Another horror! How are we supposed to do that?? It would mean a few seconds between us taking off our sarongs and climbing unto the bed and lying facedown and the masseuse finally covering us up with the sarongs! But there was no choice. We kept giggling and giggling, and kept our eyes to ourselves as we did what we had to do.

Then started the massage. I was supposed to feel so relaxed and I expected to fall asleep. But no, I was too fascinated with the beautiful colours of the flowers in the bowl beneath my bed and the yellow frangipani candle in the middle of the red and pink petals.

So, we started facedown, with the massage beginning at our legs. Then it moved up to our backs. Then we were asked to turn our to face upwards. That was alright too, as we were quickly covered again with our sarongs and our eyes were covered with clothes. The massage continued on our legs. But then it came. The moment where the masseuse suddenly pulled on the sarong covering my chest and it suddenly feels so cool and bare and totally exposed! Man was I thankful that the other 2’s eyes were closed!!

I kept silent, knowing that the same thing was about to happen to KF and Feng. Sure enough, I hear a loud giggle from Feng’s side. Her sarong has been pulled. And infectiously, it spreads to KF. I try for a few seconds to remain professional and serious, but I failed. I joined in the giggling, and think to myself “This is so embarrassing! We’re acting like a bunch of schoolgirls, when we – look at us – we’re hardly school girls, in fact, farrrr from it!”

The massage continued, and the most eventful part would have to be when KF had finished her traditional massage and Feng and I had to jump into the tub for our flower bath. I went in first. The problem wasn’t with the bath. I’m sure both Feng and I could fit into it. The problem was…there wasn’t enough water! My chest wasn’t even covered when I sat upright in it. And it wasn’t big enough to lie down in! So what could I do??

Then Feng came in. And we shared a bath - no clothes on. I said aloud “Who would have ever known when I met the both of you, that one day, we would have to see each other naked and share a bath together”.
An unforgettable experience.

After we finish, the owner of the spa drove us back to our hotel. We decided to go for dinner first before going back – saves the effort of walking out again.

So we stumble across a little hidden place, which was upstairs. We looked at the menu, and the prices were cheap enough for our almost empty pockets. Under the stairs, there was a drawing of 2 pigs at it. I can’t remember the name of the place, but this is how I will look it up the next time I am there. So up we went. It was a quaint little place, everyone else there were guai lous. We were the only Asians there.

Feng ordered spaghetti and avocado juice, and this detail is important. I ordered some sort of chicken fillet and I can’t remember what KF ordered. We snap some photos while waiting for our food – it was special because we were sitting cross-legged on the floor instead of a chair!

We ate our dinner, and started walking back home/hotel.
Ka Fui was having a headache, so we went to a small little convenience store opposite our hotel to get some Panadol for her.
I spotted something really special there – bottled Starbucks ready to go! I wish we had that here in Malaysia. 

Feng wanted to continue walking around somemore, but KF and I were tired and I felt so greasy after all that massage oil involved in the spa that I just wanted to go back to the hotel and shower then sleep.

After some time, Feng comes back safe and sound and we all have a shower before we're all drifting away into dreamland.