Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Bad/Good day


When someone close to me vents their anger on me, I don't feel angry as much as I feel hurt. Some things are better left unsaid. If you feel hurt, do you need to tell the person? If you need to tell the person before the person apologizes, then isn't the apology insincere? And if the person apologizes, does that mean he/she will change? And if he/she does change, is the friendship/relationship still the same after the incident?

And to someone else, am I never good enough for you? I try my best to earn your respect and your praise...but I meet you everyday with the fear of being scolded for something I didn't do perfectly enough. I can't give up trying because you'll scold me..but if I continue, it doesn't pay off either. You want to know something? I can't wait to get out.


Went to The Curve with Qiguang and Karen. Was nice to see them again, watched Up in was great! Then went to Ikea and finally bought tealights, and then on to Padini Concept Store.

Monday, 24 August 2009

Lots of words this time

I went ice-skating was really really fun. Met a few new friends from the assembly, glad to have had the chance to know them better. I fell a few times, but there was once when i fell really hard on my bum and now I can't sit straight seriously hurts!!

I've been making an effort to try things that I've never tried before. I think I learned that from Ross in Friends, there was this episode where he made a New Year resolution to try one new thing each day. Well I don't think I have the time and chance to try one new thing each day, so I've been trying to tell myself to take up challenges or explore new things at every opportunity I get. So yesterday when Steph asked me to go ice-skating today, I just said yes immediately even though I knew very well that I can't skate. Haha. And I forced myself to learn to balance and to learn how to skate properly. Even though I haven't fully learnt it, I kinda know how it's done now, and I think I can go practise on my own next time.

And also, I drove out to Shih Wei's place just now(night time)..I haven't been driving for over a year..and last year even when I came back, I hardly touched the car because I was scared. So when Shih Wei said that if I am scared, I shouldn't drive out, I told myself ..if I don't overcome this fear now, I'm never going to overcome it. And I'll be just sitting in other people's cars all the time..which I feel bad for! Something really funny happened though, I stopped the car at the guardhouse near his place to fill in the visitor's book, and after finishing and the guard removed the barrier for me, I shifted to Reverse gear instead of Drive! Lucky I didn't step on the accelerator yet. The guard was really shocked when he saw that, and I could just feel his fear when I started moving the he didn't want to stand too near...I probably gave him a big big fright! Thank goodness I didn't shift to reverse gear when I stopped at traffic lights, otherwise I would have surely hit the car behind!!

I feel like going shopping tomorrow..not buying stuff, but just trying on stuff..hehe

Oh and I found out that I will have a uniform when I go to work.. @.@ so sad..I look horrible in any uniform,regardless of shape,size, or colour. So how? =(

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Blogging with pictures today..

Doughnuts from J.Co. at Sunway Pyramid..nyam nyam!

WeiHan(really really good friend from college) looking silly!

This is called steamboat, or hotpot, or shabu shabu

Shabu shabu for dinner with HengSeong and friends

Heng Seong(kai kor) with his sweetheart Nicole..hehe

New shoes...oops

Really love this bag, because it was discounted from RM129 to RM25!

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Happy happy ang ku kueh

Just came back from 'yam cha' session with Simimo..was really nice to catch up with her after the longggg time we haven't been keeping in touch with each other. We went to a place next to Asia Cafe, called Taiwan Dessert sth? I thought the prices there were quite good and affordable, considering everything else(food especially) has increased exponentially in price over the few years I've been away.

I had Tau Foo Fa with was quite nice, not a normal combination..but I enjoyed it. And because the place was starting to get really crowded, we decided to be good and give up our seats to people who needed them more. So we then proceeded to Starbucks a few doors away, and KS treated me to Green Tea Frappucino, which I've missed SOOO Much because they don't have that in UK.

(Need to get clearer pics from Sim's camera)

I was watching The Little Nyonya today and looking at all the kuih that they were making. I listened to the explanations, that a Peranakan girl who knew how to make nice kuih was more likely to find a better husband than those who don't. And also, that the nicer the kuih was, the happier their families would be. So I decided to try making 'ang ku kueh'...and after further inquiry, Qig said that his mom has the ang ku kueh mould which she is not using anymore..would I like it? YES! Want to try making ASAP, in time for next Saturday ;)

For those not sure what an 'ang ku kueh' is...its sticky on the outside, and is filled with green bean paste. One of the nicest traditional kuihs that I like =) And according to a blogger, , it symbolises longevity and prosperity.

Interview tomorrow...Part of me is looking forward to getting it over with, but part of me is nervous. I don't know why. I guess I'm still always afraid of failure. This is the me which I try to hide, and to overcome. But I think old habits die hard..and I'll need more experience to teach me how to have more confidence in myself.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Thinking selfish thoughts again =(

Am finally home in Malaysia and getting used to it.. Or maybe not really..I don't know. It just feels kinda weird. Maybe that's because everything happened so quickly.

Really happy that I have my own room..I know my mom misses me because I'm not so close by anymore, but I'm still really near her..feel bad, but I think this is the right decision.

Went out with my SAM friends yesterday, it was really nice to catch up with them..but feel so kesian for them, they're all so busy and stressed just really reminds me of what I felt myself just before I graduated, and its horrible to see them going through the same thing and not being able to advice them on how to get through it except that the end of the tunnel WILL come and that everything will just work out fine after that. We'll all survive university life!!TRUST ME!

One more thing...I really really miss my friends in UK. I keep thinking about them all the time..wondering what they're doing at the moment..wishing that I could chat with them online..but because of the time difference, they're either working or sleeping =(
Why can't I be greedy and force them to come back? I feel so selfish..but I really miss them!!

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

I know why now..

I was feeling really down a couple of days ago, and I couldn't point my finger on what was wrong. I kept feeling like crying without a reason. I knew it had to do with leaving to go back home, but I was really confused because when I decided to go back to Malaysia, it was the only thing I wanted. It was all I could think about, all my loved ones who I could finally meet again, and the places that I've missed, the food that I long for.

Thankfully, Junwei came online when I was feeling most down(as always - thanks Junwei..really love u lots), and I finally managed to talk about how I felt. And found out what was wrong. The reason was that all this while, I was happy to go home because I thought I would finally be able to see my loved ones..but ONLY NOW did I realise that I have loved ones here too!! Loved ones who I really don't wish to leave behind. I've made lots of new friends here, all the while still focusing on my friends back home. But without realising it, without making a conscious effort at all, I've become close to them..and I can honestly say that some of them are now closer to me and know me better than those who I've been so excited to meet again back home. That's why I've been feeling so sad.

Friday, 7 August 2009

Trying to update regularly

I'm halfway through with my packing, really excited about going home now!

Going to Wales tomorrow, wonder if we will be able to have a campfire tomorrow night when we arrive. And Saturday will be so fun, SS and KF are gonna wear their bikinis ;) !! And I'm gonna be wearing my swimsuit from H&M which somehow creates a sort of optical illusion that I AM SLIM! Hahahahaha happiness of happiness.

I'm back to Pet Society in Facebook and its so fun! I've been fishing a lot in there, and also in this other game called Fish a Fish. Feel like a little child, cos I get so excited everytime I catch a new fish haha.

Need a haircut, my hair seems to be growing so quickly nowadays..especially the fringe..argh!

Oh and, I'm already watching the final episode of Gossip's so nice..and it makes me wonder whether there are really girls as nice as Serena, who are beautiful, rich, and at the same time, CARING! Wish there were more girls like her in real life. And how nice it would be if I had legs as long and neverending as hers =)

Wednesday, 5 August 2009


So, almost everything is going according to plan...the boxes from the shipping company arrived today, and I'm packing as quickly as possible because I'll be away in Wales with my friends this weekend! Really looking forward to it...hopefully it'll be sunny enough to play on the beach?

I know I've been fat ever since I can remember, but I can't even bear looking at myself in pictures now!!! Really feeling very depressed and hopeless about this.

I shall start updating my weight loss/increase(hope not) on here daily, to motivate myself.