I used to wonder quite often when I was younger...
"Would I be missed if I suddenly died?"
Quite a weird thing to think about, especially considering that I was only in my teens at that time.
I guess I've always wanted to know what people think about me.
Even if it might not be very obvious to some of you, I do care very much about what people think of me. I might do certain things purely based on how certain people would view me, and the same for some things which I just wouldn't do because I'm afraid of being judged by others.
In short, I used to have really low self-esteem. I've improved so much, and have come such a long way from the little girl who didn't dare to even lift up her head when she entered a classroom, or order food from vendors at the 'medan' in front of her house.
BUT, I still care very much about what people think of me. What has changed though, is that even though I care, I don't let it bring me down anymore when I find out that someone doesn't think that I'm 'Perfect'. Instead, I try my best to be the person I want to be, with the qualities I want to have. Like I said in my previous post, the only person you actually do need to justify anything to is YOURSELF.
The me today would still like to know, how would you describe me if I suddenly left this world? And..would you miss me?